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| Dave Annable | Bryan Lighthouse |
| Katharine McPhee | Masha Nikitin |
| Rob Schneider | Ernesto |
| Mena Suvari | Tonya |
| Kathy Bates | Bryan's Mother |
| Ken Davitian | Vadik Nikitin |
| Tia Carrere | Lani |
| Kevin Dunn | Agent Ross |
| Vinnie Jones | Brick |
| Stephen Tobolowsky | Plumber |
A mild-mannered pet photographer is forced to marry the daughter of a Croatian mobster, then loses his new bride to kidnappers.
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