|Owen Wilson||Drillbit Taylor|
|Lisa Lampanelli||Ronnie's Mom|
For three misfit freshmen, the first day of high school becomes a living hell when Filkins, the school bully, zeroes in on them. Chubby Ryan, diminutive Emmit and skinny Wade all feel the wrath of Filkins. Realizing that their own chance for survival is to hire a bodyguard, the pals place an ad in the newspaper. Answering the call is Drillbit Taylor; armed, dangerous and completely fake.