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| Michael Caine | Alfie Elkins |
| Shelley Winters | Ruby |
| Millicent Martin | Siddie |
| Julia Foster | Gilda |
| Jane Asher | Annie |
| Shirley Anne Field | Carla |
| Vivien Merchant | Lily |
| Eleanor Bron | Woman Doctor |
| Denholm Elliott | Abortionist |
| Alfie Bass | Harry |
| Graham Stark | Humphrey |
| Murray Melvin | Nat |
| Sydney Tafler | Frank |
A cynical cockney bachelor picks up women, treats them badly and tells why in asides to the camera.
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